Chapter 1 - Helpless Romantics

Love.
Love is... awesome. I dunno, let some poet define it.
But I know what love is not. Love is not walking into a tavern, and repeatedly shouting "Need gf plz." Love doesn't work like that.
Love is not about shouting "I Heart You" or "I <3 style="font-weight: bold;">any female willing to suffer through your insipid bologna are 1:5. However, the odds of finding a female who wants more than just free armor from the relationsip is 1:334291931.2 You'd have better chances flying the Millenium Falcon through the Asteroid Belt with the Empire on your tail.
Girls, it's all a matter of location. If you see some guy shouting "Gf Plz press 123 to be my Gf" it's a quick way to a free set of new armor. Sure, it may seem like golddigging, but hey, if the guy's dumb enough to look for romance in a CHEAP MMO then they deserve to be scammed.

Love is more than just "Press 123 to be my gf." Love is about finding someone who loves you back, who understands you when you need understanding, listens when you need to speak, and you listen to when they need to speak, understand them when they need understanding. It's a symbiotic relationship, people. It's not "Hey... you're hot give me armor kthxbye." (more on kthxbye later)

Also on the "Press 123 to be my gf" pickup line. You're "looking" for a "lasting relationship," as that's what "gf" means. Would you try this pickup line in reality? If you actually have a possibility of passing on your genes to the next generation, no. So, if you're not going to try it in reality, why bother? It's only going to get you scammed out of a set of armor. A decent set, too. So don't try it! The only people willing to bite are just after the armor!!

The next time I hear someone asking "Need Gf Plz press 123" I'm going to hit 123. And turn the tables on them. But hey, at least they say please. No wait, make that "plz." It's still an attempt at politeness in an impolite manner.

And "I Heart You?" Nuh-uh. Love isn't about saying you love someone, it's about showing it. And, no, visual text does not count.

Finally, Guys. You forget rule 30 of the Internet: There are no girls on the internet.

Funny Videos, Pictures and Stuff - There is no girls on the internet

Need I say more?

"Need Gf plz press 123"

Your compulsory introductory post

In the pitch of night,
in the light of day,
As we all fight,
You hear them say:

"frestufplz frestufplz
Can I have some gold?
I ned gold, just 1 sec
I'm only 10 yrs old!"


Welcome to Noobs In The Mist,
A blog written by me, Lord Perfor.

Over the past few years I have taken time out of my wasted life to observe "The N00b Condition." This includes:

• People ignoring in-game tutorials.
• People claiming to be 10 yrs old.
• People whining for free stuff.
• People who just tick you off.
• Anybody who even tries to sing online.
• Random, inane questions and their askers.
• "How I mine 4 fish??"
• Those damned teabaggers.
• People who stack Medics with Pyros.
  

This does not include minor sins such as (as long as they do not break an above rule):

• Team Killing (I will admit to such sins)
• People who have paid attention to tutorials and require a bit more help.
• People who are lost and need directions.

I have observed these people for too long, and have collected much to write a publication about.

I am Lord Perfor, and these are my observations.