My god, what was I thinking?

This is highly embarrassing, but alas, it's part of my past, and I will not deny it. PS: Noobs suck.

Whirled 3: Andeeee strikes back

Alright, so Andeeee didn't write the Val note. The note on the board that said "I <3 Val. I hate you. -Andeeee" on Rini's wall. Not him.
I explained to him that he was in love with SRini and not RRini, who "broke up" with him. He's pissed. Now, he's going to talk to RRini about this, and see if SRini has her own account. Val is still with Josh, as far as I know.

Tara broke up with... whoever. She's now chasing Charly, who is next on her boy-list. Somehow, I ended up at the bottom of the list. Huh.

Anyhow, it's all been fine, Beaver uploaded a spanish picture book, and it's cool.
If anybody wants to join Whirled, email me and I'll send you an invitiation email. Gotta get these invitation rewards, after all.

Entry 2 - Plane Shift

Notes taken from an actual conversation:
about Rini:
Her previously terminally ill, but currently well but bullied, sister was the original Rini who used to play on Rini's account earlier. She was the one who was in love with Andeee.

Rini went into her room, her board had Andeeee's name on it (like he would do it, with accent marks and stuff) and it said "I love Valie stay away from me -- Andeeee"

Andeeee and Real-Rini (RRini) were never together, it was SRini (Sister of Rini) with Andeeee.
Now RRini and Andeeee aren't friends... or never were.
Andeeee is now with Valie, who broke up with Black.
"Valie has Josh as a boyfriend."
Now, RRini wants me to tell Andeeee to forget about her, which I said I would not do.

So, basically,
Rini's sister has been the obnoxious one, and she was the one in love with Andeeee. When RRini took back the account, she didn't know Andeeee, so they "broke up."
Valie has also broken up with Blackops (they were a good couple, too) and is now with Josh. And Andeeee's also persuing Valie(?).

What a crazy world. Why did I sign up for it again? Oh yeah, Beaver.

A new chapter

In a quest for new material, I have done what I thought I never would: I have decided to journey into the realm of the "need gf" tribe. While not a truely desperate tribe, the habitat I have chosen to enter is primarily based around this motto. Daily, hearts are broken and love notes exchanged. In a matter of minutes, a person is driven to the brink of insanity only to be saved by another push towards the edge. This is where I will live.

The main players in this game:
Tara, a female from Illinois (Rule 56 of the InterWebs: Everybody's from Illinois.)
Vorpal, the male currently chosen by Tara.
--Relationship status: At least 2 weeks, going strong.
Rini, the "queen bee" of this tribe, a self-centered bitch.
Andeeee, the one male able to tolerate her lack of control. Otherwise, he's quite a level-headed individual, perhaps the sanest of us all.
--Relationship status: Seemingly years. Not faltering.
Ric, a single male with possibilities of finding someone someday.
Beaver, a programmer whom with I collaborate frequently. Beaver one of the few in this environment who knows it is a mere game, and takes no relationships whatsoever. He is l337skilled.
Blackops, goes by many names. Generally sensible, doesn't take his relationship to the extreme or anything.
Valie, also changes name frequently. As sensible as Black, is calm, cool, considerate, and loyal.
--Relationship status: 4 months minimum, quite strong.
SexyCoolGal, an uber-desperate young girl, begging for love. She has no self control, and when she does not have a relationship she spams rooms with "WAAAAH." I attempted to calm her down once, and she took that as a "you love me" sign. After I calmly explained myself to her, she lost it. Now, she's either acting as if I love her with all of my heart, or she's pissed at me and scowling at every turn. She cannot keep a relationship for more than 30 minutes, due to her extreme views of relationships. She is a Level 10 threat.

I will attempt to keep a weekly note of occurances, perhaps as much as daily. There is alot going on, and I will attempt to record it all. Hell, I might even be involved. As this blog as my witness, If I fall under this illusion, please, any of you, please save me. Please. My life may hang in the balance.

Chapter 1 - Helpless Romantics

Love.
Love is... awesome. I dunno, let some poet define it.
But I know what love is not. Love is not walking into a tavern, and repeatedly shouting "Need gf plz." Love doesn't work like that.
Love is not about shouting "I Heart You" or "I <3 style="font-weight: bold;">any female willing to suffer through your insipid bologna are 1:5. However, the odds of finding a female who wants more than just free armor from the relationsip is 1:334291931.2 You'd have better chances flying the Millenium Falcon through the Asteroid Belt with the Empire on your tail.
Girls, it's all a matter of location. If you see some guy shouting "Gf Plz press 123 to be my Gf" it's a quick way to a free set of new armor. Sure, it may seem like golddigging, but hey, if the guy's dumb enough to look for romance in a CHEAP MMO then they deserve to be scammed.

Love is more than just "Press 123 to be my gf." Love is about finding someone who loves you back, who understands you when you need understanding, listens when you need to speak, and you listen to when they need to speak, understand them when they need understanding. It's a symbiotic relationship, people. It's not "Hey... you're hot give me armor kthxbye." (more on kthxbye later)

Also on the "Press 123 to be my gf" pickup line. You're "looking" for a "lasting relationship," as that's what "gf" means. Would you try this pickup line in reality? If you actually have a possibility of passing on your genes to the next generation, no. So, if you're not going to try it in reality, why bother? It's only going to get you scammed out of a set of armor. A decent set, too. So don't try it! The only people willing to bite are just after the armor!!

The next time I hear someone asking "Need Gf Plz press 123" I'm going to hit 123. And turn the tables on them. But hey, at least they say please. No wait, make that "plz." It's still an attempt at politeness in an impolite manner.

And "I Heart You?" Nuh-uh. Love isn't about saying you love someone, it's about showing it. And, no, visual text does not count.

Finally, Guys. You forget rule 30 of the Internet: There are no girls on the internet.

Funny Videos, Pictures and Stuff - There is no girls on the internet

Need I say more?

"Need Gf plz press 123"

Your compulsory introductory post

In the pitch of night,
in the light of day,
As we all fight,
You hear them say:

"frestufplz frestufplz
Can I have some gold?
I ned gold, just 1 sec
I'm only 10 yrs old!"


Welcome to Noobs In The Mist,
A blog written by me, Lord Perfor.

Over the past few years I have taken time out of my wasted life to observe "The N00b Condition." This includes:

• People ignoring in-game tutorials.
• People claiming to be 10 yrs old.
• People whining for free stuff.
• People who just tick you off.
• Anybody who even tries to sing online.
• Random, inane questions and their askers.
• "How I mine 4 fish??"
• Those damned teabaggers.
• People who stack Medics with Pyros.
  

This does not include minor sins such as (as long as they do not break an above rule):

• Team Killing (I will admit to such sins)
• People who have paid attention to tutorials and require a bit more help.
• People who are lost and need directions.

I have observed these people for too long, and have collected much to write a publication about.

I am Lord Perfor, and these are my observations.